Month: July 2018

Cancer… I Can’t Stop Thinking About It

Categories Balance, budget-friendly, cancer, Career Mom, Chemicals, chocolate, Daytime Blue Ridge, Detox, DIY, Enjoyment, family, GMO, groceries, headache, herbal medicine, husband, kids, Life, migraine, Mom Life, motivation, natural, organic, Passion, research, roanoke, SAHM, self-care, shampoo, tasty, toiletries, toxins, Uncategorized, wellness coach, wife, Working MomLeave a Comment on Cancer… I Can’t Stop Thinking About It

All these people with cancer- friends, family… it’s breaking my heart on a most personal level and I know it is breaking yours too. We all know someone… I don’t know if it is 100% avoidable with all the radiation floating throughout our world and the hidden ingredients in our food and products. Labeling lies, false advertising, even the healthiest shoppers can unknowingly fall into some junk because of it.  “Organic” used to mean something important. Unfortunately, that word means less and less to me everyday. Companies interested in making money, not making a pure, healthy product, saw that they could charge more for the label and if you’ll follow this through to DC, you will find lobbyists and changes in what “organic” now means.

So many things in our food and in our products are linked to cancer and it’s still being sold and purchased liked candy in our stores (speaking of candy… huge linkage). Why? 1. We don’t know what we don’t know.

2. Affordability; yeah, we may know that the $20 bottle of shampoo is the best for us and will keep us the healthiest, but sometimes that price just isn’t feasible. But I promise you, we don’t “look smart” like one cheap shampoo company boasts, when we settle. No one looks smart when they settle for less than what’s best for them and their family. And lastly is:

3. We know and we JUST. DON’T. CARE. This one is the hardest for me to see, personally. We bury our heads in the sand because it is temporarily easier but the long term effects of that decision can be catastrophic. It’s the last one that breaks my heart the most.

If we don’t know, we can learn; if we don’t have the income, we can still find ways to live as healthily and affordably as possible. But if we don’t care? If we choose to ignore it because it is easier in the moment…. (or tastes better)….well, there is nothing that can be done for that person, except to keep loving them and hope for the best.

I get it. The junk in food makes the food taste way better. It does. That’s why companies use it- to sell more cheaply and get more sales. I get it. There is no tasty, healthy replacement for some of the foods we have grown to love because they don’t come from any natural source. These companies aren’t playing fair. 

It’s a lot of work to figure out what is and isn’t good for you, all the way down to your toothpaste and toenail polish. I get it. I do. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

And then another question comes to mind, “How do we know who is lying to us and who isn’t?” I totally see where the confusion lies. Advertisements and amazingly cute packaging consume us from all corners and it’s hard to believe that the list of ingredients doesn’t have to list the actual ingredients, right? I know. From someone who truly wants to believe the best in everyone, it is hard to hear about what is really happening because WHO WOULD DO THAT TO SOMEONE?! How do they sleep at night? Girlfriend, I have no idea. But I do know that there are thousands of chemicals in our food and toiletries that do not have to be listed on the “Ingredients” list in America.

This past week was an extremely hard week for me. And during this week, I fell off my farm-fresh, sunshiney. non-GMO wagon. And it tasted pretty good. I mean, I had one of those PB Squared Snickers… and some of those sugar-laden organic treats and… you know what? They all tasted pretty DANG amazing. But you know what else? I am paying for it with my health at this very moment. 

It started as a headache yesterday that just would not go away, no matter what I tried. Then overnight, it turned into a migraine that woke me out of my sleep. Then throughout the day, it hurt so bad I had to stay hidden in the dark with my eyes closed, etc. NOTHING would knock it out. And I still have it but it’s back to a just a bad headache again (thankfully). And you know what? Suddenly those unhealthy things that I chose taste like dust in comparison of how I have been feeling for almost 48 hours. My mood was way worse this week too. Tie together the up’s and down’s of sugar crashes and harmful chemicals that my body isn’t used to anymore, and it made for one crappy mood on top of an already difficult week.

The more detoxed you become from toxins, the quicker your body responds when they re-enter your system. Because it is foreign to our bodies and they actually don’t know how to process it. Because it’s not something natural that our body was created to recognize. Most of us don’t even realize how crappy we actually feel because we have accepted it as our normal. But what if it isn’t?

I’m just a normal person, guys. (In case you thought anything different! LOL!) I LOVE the taste of Reese’s (now switched for Justin’s brand) and I had to do A LOT of research to figure out why on God’s green earth  I would pay that much FOR A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO!! All I am is somebody who- because I was getting sick from everyday products- took my head out of the sand and figured out what was happening. And now that I know, it would be nothing short of wrong to not tell you too. …Even though I keep kind of wondering if some major company is going to come by and pop my tires! LOL! (Which, granted, would seem far-fetched if this little fish in a big pond hadn’t already received a 6-page letter from a huge company trying to dish me an [ineffective] rebuttal).

Ok. Well. I have already written a ton today and I know most of us don’t enjoy reading huge blogs and just skim for the “good stuff”. 🙂 I will share in my next post and also in  my class this Saturday the most affordable and doable ways to make better choices in the land of things so tasty, they kill. So next time you eat something and think, “This is to die for”, ask yourself… is it really?

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN……. (but seriously)

 

Patiently Waiting…

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Are you good at waiting? … I will admit… I’m a work in progress. 🙂 On a good day, I’m a trooper. 2 hour line for a rollercoaster? No problem, I’m here all day. 1 hour delay in Pennsylvania? (it’s always Pennsylvania…) Still, not a problem when I’ve got my trusty, rusty good mood cap on.

But change to the bigger stuff… yes, yes, I know, you’ve read or heard of the book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (and it’s all small stuff).” It’s a fantastic book- I’ve read it too. Actually, I listened to it on CD (before Audible, people!) because I wasn’t patient enough to sit down and read it! Just tell me what I need to know and I’ll be on my way, buddy… 

Under what I consider the perfect circumstances, meaning people are waiting the way I think they should wait, no one is rude, everyone is fun to talk to, the weather is beautiful, I’m not tired, hungry, thirsty, in a hurry or in pain… when I have everything I need to wait comfortably, I’m a trooper. (That’s probably what I should have said in the first paragraph… 🙂 )

But give me someone running their mouth, CUTTING THE LINE, or taking what I think should be mine and Houston, we have a problem. Especially the latter. AmIRight?! 

So how do we remain (or go back to) patience in a world that is so high paced and instantaneous? I mean, my kids think that boxed mac & cheese takes “too long” to cook and will be like, “Ah mom, don’t you have something you can microwave for us?”  (They are 4 and 6!) Seriously?…

Now that I’ve admitted to being a work-in-progress, I will tell you how I work on making progress:

  1. Let it go. Yes, you know that book that irritates me because it is so RIGHT? …yeah, he’s on to something. Don’t’ sweat the small stuff. And it’s all small stuff. So let it go. If you feel inspired, sing the song from Frozen while you release the stress 🙂
  2. Relax. We don’t take enough time to do that, do we? Especially not true relaxation. Sometimes we binge-watch Netflix and think we are relaxing but if we end the experience going to bed and feeling stressed, we didn’t relax.
  3. Shut it off. Huh? Yup, this is mandatory from time to time. You have to give yourself a day to be Amish (that’s what I call it anyway 🙂 ). Turn off your phone, your Apple watch, your fitbit, the TV, laptop, tablet, radio, etc. All of it. The only things you can keep on is your electricity/heat/AC. 🙂 The serenity that will come having a day of social media silence, of being disconnected, will actually help you RECONNECT- to yourself, your family and to what really matters. (And I don’t know how to break it to you, but the new heels your acquaintance wore out on her date night out, WHEN YOU KNOW she just told you yesterday that she sprained her ankle and now she’s in 3 inch stiletto heels!! really doesn’t… matter. Nope. It doesn’t.
  4. Which brings me to my next point: Avoid the drama. I get it. It is easy to get sucked into the vortex of ranting and raving to your girlfriend about that girl and her “sprained ankle”. But what’s the point? Something I always ask myself is, at what cost? What cost am I paying to do this (whatever it is!)? Am I shelling out precious commodities like peace of mind and trading it in for frustration? If so, it’s not worth the purchase.
  5. Decide what matters. Not everything in  your life gets to be a big deal, an urgency or an emergency. Sorry. In fact, if you constantly live in that state, it can cause physical health issues as well as mental health issues. You have to pick a few top values (I suggest 3) and live by those. Then weigh your decisions (including how you are going to respond to what happens) based on those values. I think you will find that it is in the best interest of your core values to “Keep Calm and Carry On”. 🙂waiting

 

From a Counselor’s Desk: The Secret to Motivating Yourself

Categories apothecary, Career Mom, CBT, counselor, Daytime Blue Ridge, DIY, Dream, Enjoyment, family, Future, goals, herbal medicine, history, husband, kids, Life, love, Mom Life, motivation, motivational interviewing, natural, Passion, Pity party, Positive mental attitude, Psychology, research, roanoke, SAHM, self-care, therapist advice, wellness coach, wife, Working MomLeave a Comment on From a Counselor’s Desk: The Secret to Motivating Yourself

This is how my husband won my heart. He traveled from Virginia (where we met) to Massachusetts where I was running a camp for the summer to see me – a 15+ hour drive. This was in 2008 when the economy was doing a plummet. He paid huge prices at the gas pump, tolls, housing, etc. And since the camp was in the middle of nowhere, he ended up staying at a campground- yes, camping so he could stay near where I was because there were no hotels!!! He had creative dates planned and though it was July and 100 degrees, that goof (<3)  wore the sweatshirt with the camp logo on it that I bought him all the way home But he got what he wanted – me! We were married 6 weeks later and will soon be celebrating year 10 of marriage.
Moral of the story? If you want it, you will do what it takes.

What is something in your life that feels impossible but you really, really desire?blog pic

I am practically positive that if I asked my husband right now what gave him the motivation to drive all the way to see me, when I left Virginia as his friend, he would tell me that he wanted that kiss LOL. But how was that motivation strong enough? As a counselor who loves CBT and Motivational Therapy, I am going to offer a few quick ways to motivate yourself to pursue your dreams.

  1. Believe you can. It ALL starts in the mind, my friend. It is said that motivation is like a shower, you need to do it daily. It is also an “inside job”- no one can do it for you.
  2. Envision it. This does not have to be some weird type of yoga-meets-meditation kind of thing lol. It can literally be you, on the elliptical or folding laundry, picturing in detail what it would be like to have the thing you desire. Use your imagination! Engage all 5 senses when you’re in there! How would it feel when you have it? What would you be wearing the day you receive this thing? Who would be with you when it happened? How do you see it coming together? Where are you when it happens? What does it look like there? What are you smelling? What are your emotions when this happens? What would you say to people? What would they say to you? How would your significant other, children, friends, family, pets, career, home life, etc. be affected by this change? What would your closest friends say about this change? How would life be different from here on out? …you get the picture… spread out this dream on the canvas of your mind. Paint it, photograph it, write it, sing it- whatever works for you!
  3. Vision Boards. In today’s day and age, this could simply be a Pinterest board that puts pictures to your dreams. For example, I could make a Pinterest board called, “Jo’s Trip to Hawaii” and then post in there pictures of the ocean, waterfalls, the landscapes, hula dancing, hiking trails, people sitting on the beach drinking a cold lemonade, etc. Then whenever you need some extra inspiration to keep earning the money to get there, open up that board and envision yourself on the beaches of Hawaii!
  4. DECIDE. Yup. It’s that simple. Make the decision that you are going to go after it. No matter what. Then, don’t provide yourself any other options. When there is a tough day, don’t start thinking about and romanticizing the idea of quitting. NO. You made that decision for a reason, so those types of thoughts are NOT ALLOWED. Change the channel of your mind and get to envisioning your dream and opening up that Pinterest board!
  5. Write. Yes. Write your dream down. Then write your goals. When you are finished with that, write the steps you plan to take in order to reach this goal. Because a dream without action is just a wish. And we are not wishing- we are pursuing.
  6. Try, try again. It is very rare to succeed the first time you try something. In fact, it is so unheard of that people listen to these Unicorn Life Stories in awe. So maybe we’re not a unicorn. So what? Why not be like Thomas Edison who has over 1,000 patents that belong to him and had at least that many attempts to create the light bulb? This was no easy feat. He didn’t wake up one morning, walk out the door to the lab and go home that evening with his light bulb. Some things things don’t come easy. And because of that we can more fully appreciate them- because we know all our hard work and sacrifice involved! Our founding fathers of America had to leave their family for YEARS AT A TIME, missing out on seeing their children grow and snuggling their wives at night for their dream of freedom. Imagine if they stopped. Imagine if they were like, ah man, I thought when I got here I would be a unicorn but since I’m not… I’m staying home.
  7. JUST DO IT. 🙂 (I probably have to write that this is a Nike slogan, since I’m sure they patented those 3 words. 🙂 ) If you would like a free pdf showing you an easy and effective way to use aromatherapy for goal setting and motivation, simply send quick text to (540) 765-7881 that says “goals pdf” ❤ Bobbie-jo