I don’t want to be a product of the “Me” generation

This thought has been nipping at my heels for awhile now. There are so many things that we think are “needs” when NEWS FLASH, they aren’t. Almost all of us in America live better than the Pharaoh’s did in ancient Egypt… let that sink in.

We think having to pass on a Starbucks means we’re paupers. Most of us have debt up the wazoo because we “needed” something. And of course I understand that there are true emergencies that can also put us in debt and in those instances, I am grateful that we can “charge it”.

I think of my Great Grandmother. She was born in 1911. She lived through the Great Depression. She worked day and night, saving every penny she could and never complained when she was exhausted with not much to show for it- that was just life. She always told me, “have a penny, save a penny.” But do I ever save a penny? Not really. I justify everything, thinking, well of course I “need” this… but do I?

My Great Grandmother worked so hard to provide for her family. She saved enough money to pay for multiple weddings and funerals in cash, as well as owned her home. She never drove, never had a license. She walked everywhere. She lived in a small little pink home with plastic all over the furniture and photographs. She preserved everything to make it last. She had a tiny stove. In fact, her whole house looked like a Barbie doll playhouse compared to what we live in today. She didn’t live beyond her means. In fact, she lived under them so that she could save for emergencies. She called it her “rainy day fund”. She didn’t have a closet overflowing with clothes or shoes and she didn’t waste anything. She, her husband and children did not go out to the movies or bowling for fun; they played cards at their small kitchen table and her kids read books from the library. My Great Grandmother even made her own card holders out of plastic food lids and a fastener in the center. She was the ultimate DIYer!

My husband’s Grandfather and Grandmother also lived in a humble home. Grandfather went to work and labored every day of the work week. Grandmother stayed home and took care of family and the house. There were no HGTV remodels. In fact, she didn’t even drive. It wasn’t because she was disempowered; it was because they were living within their means! They had one car and Grandfather took it to work. On the weekends, he would take his wife out to go peruse the town but they never got spend-happy. Grandfather and Grandmother saved all their lives and when retirement came, they decided to use ALL of their savings to build a big family home to grow old in with their only daughter and her family.

We live in that very home today. What a legacy to leave! There is so much to learn from the hardworking generations of the past. They weren’t frivolous. They didn’t have shoes to match every style and outfit and they didn’t order pizzas and buy subscriptions to Amazon Prime (guilty!) or Netflix.

I’m not saying any of this is wrong or right. What I am saying is that for me and my family, I want to go back to the basics. And it is going to be so stinking hard! I LOVE Starbucks! And Italian Restaurants! And Halo Cookie Dough ice cream! And movies! And going out on the town! And chocolate truffles! And Torrid!! And cute shoes! And ALL THE CLOTHES!Β  And books!!! Man do I love books! The list goes on and on because I LOVE BEING COMFORTABLE!! I love yum and fun!Β  I am always drawn toward glitz and glam and I DREAM of an HGTV home (the “after” not the “before” πŸ™‚ ).

I think of organizations like World Help, Compassion International and the D. Gary Young Foundation, all with countless ways we can help those who TRULY “have not” . I am assured by trustworthy friends that have been onsite at all of these organizations and mission fields, that these are legitimate and 100% of all donations go straight to the people in need. If we don’t feed the starving and get people out of sex slavery, who will?

How often do we think beyond ourselves? And for how long? It’s sad, isn’t it? Most of the world still doesn’t have CLEAN DRINKING WATER (that’s right- they have muddy holes filled with animal poo and disease and they GET THEIR WATER from there because there are no other options. They try to “boil” it first but there are not many resources for them to have that “luxury”).

Yet here in America, people on government assistance have access to all the food, clean water, baby supplies, healthcare, help with electric bills and yes, even cell phones. We could split hairs and talk about what we think is working and what isn’t, but the point is, there is help from our country!

Did you know that most countries do not have those resources available for its people? Babies starve to death and die of preventable diseases while we scroll Facebook. That’s hard to hear, isn’t it?Β I sponsor a little boy who is 7 years old in Haiti named Dawens. He sent me a letter the other day talking about his home. It is made of blocks and has a piece of metal over the top. He is one of the blessed ones who gets food and education to get himself out of poverty because he has a sponsor in America helping him. He has hope and no price could ever be put on that.

We have all changed the channel when the “bleeding heart” commercials come on, asking people to sponsor a child and they show a hungry face with a bloated belly. We tell ourselves it’s a fraud or that we just don’t have the money (while sitting on furniture in a house with a roof and a remote in our hands). We tell ourselves whatever it takes to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

I am challenging myself as much as I am challenging you. What are your true needs? And what could we put aside to help others? Don’t fool yourself into thinking that life is all about you and your family and your comfort and your fun times. It’s not.

Don’t live inside the box of delusion or denial.

There is a world out there that needs us and if we won’t help, who will?

I don’t want to be a product of the “Me” generation. I want to be a product of selflessness. I want to forfeit my comforts to help others. I want to stop convincing myself that my needs are greater than your needs. I want to discontinue the story I tell myself that I don’t have enough money to ________ (fill in the blank) and that someone else will have to help those in need because I have too much _____________ (fill in the blank) to take care of. I don’t think I could ever be Mother Teresa. But I could say “no” to a few more luxuries to save the life of one more child in need.

You will leave this world one day. And you will find out that these few years on earth were supposed to be for much more than “building your Kingdom.” What short-sighted thinking we all fall for. “Just live for today”…. “Get yours”… “It’s all about me”… “I deserve”….

Yeah, whatever. Look beyond yourself. You may find that you feel a whole lot better when you’re not stuck on yourself. I know I do. We will never do this “perfectly”. But we can make progress everyday toward helping others in whatever way we can and making someone’s day a little brighter, simply by putting ourselves aside and thinking of others.

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Cancer… I Can’t Stop Thinking About It

All these people with cancer- friends, family… it’s breaking my heart on a most personal level and I know it is breaking yours too. We all know someone… I don’t know if it is 100% avoidable with all the radiation floating throughout our world and the hidden ingredients in our food and products. Labeling lies, false advertising, even the healthiest shoppers can unknowingly fall into some junk because of it.Β  “Organic” used to mean something important. Unfortunately, that word means less and less to me everyday. Companies interested in making money, not making a pure, healthy product, saw that they could charge more for the label and if you’ll follow this through to DC, you will find lobbyists and changes in what “organic” now means.

So many things in our food and in our products are linked to cancer and it’s still being sold and purchased liked candy in our stores (speaking of candy… huge linkage). Why? 1. We don’t know what we don’t know.

2. Affordability; yeah, we may know that the $20 bottle of shampoo is the best for us and will keep us the healthiest, but sometimes that price just isn’t feasible. But I promise you, we don’t “look smart” like one cheap shampoo company boasts, when we settle. No one looks smart when they settle for less than what’s best for them and their family. And lastly is:

3. We know and we JUST. DON’T. CARE. This one is the hardest for me to see, personally. We bury our heads in the sand because it is temporarily easier but the long term effects of that decision can be catastrophic. It’s the last one that breaks my heart the most.

If we don’t know, we can learn; if we don’t have the income, we can still find ways to live as healthily and affordably as possible. But if we don’t care? If we choose to ignore it because it is easier in the moment…. (or tastes better)….well, there is nothing that can be done for that person, except to keep loving them and hope for the best.

I get it. The junk in food makes the food taste way better. It does. That’s why companies use it- to sell more cheaply and get more sales. I get it. There is no tasty, healthy replacement for some of the foods we have grown to love because they don’t come from any natural source. These companies aren’t playing fair.Β 

It’s a lot of work to figure out what is and isn’t good for you, all the way down to your toothpaste and toenail polish. I get it. I do. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

And then another question comes to mind, “How do we know who is lying to us and who isn’t?” I totally see where the confusion lies. Advertisements and amazingly cute packaging consume us from all corners and it’s hard to believe that the list of ingredients doesn’t have to list the actual ingredients, right? I know. From someone who truly wants to believe the best in everyone, it is hard to hear about what is really happening because WHO WOULD DO THAT TO SOMEONE?! How do they sleep at night? Girlfriend, I have no idea. But I do know that there are thousands of chemicals in our food and toiletries that do not have to be listed on the “Ingredients” list in America.

This past week was an extremely hard week for me. And during this week, I fell off my farm-fresh, sunshiney. non-GMO wagon. And it tasted pretty good. I mean, I had one of those PB Squared Snickers… and some of those sugar-laden organic treats and… you know what? They all tasted pretty DANG amazing. But you know what else? I am paying for it with my health at this very moment.Β 

It started as a headache yesterday that just would not go away, no matter what I tried. Then overnight, it turned into a migraine that woke me out of my sleep. Then throughout the day, it hurt so bad I had to stay hidden in the dark with my eyes closed, etc. NOTHING would knock it out. And I still have it but it’s back to a just a bad headache again (thankfully). And you know what? Suddenly those unhealthy things that I chose taste like dust in comparison of how I have been feeling for almost 48 hours. My mood was way worse this week too. Tie together the up’s and down’s of sugar crashes and harmful chemicals that my body isn’t used to anymore, and it made for one crappy mood on top of an already difficult week.

The more detoxed you become from toxins, the quicker your body responds when they re-enter your system. Because it is foreign to our bodies and they actually don’t know how to process it. Because it’s not something natural that our body was created to recognize. Most of us don’t even realize how crappy we actually feel because we have accepted it as our normal. But what if it isn’t?

I’m just a normal person, guys. (In case you thought anything different! LOL!) I LOVE the taste of Reese’s (now switched for Justin’s brand) and I had to do A LOT of research to figure out why on God’s green earthΒ  I would pay that much FOR A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO!! All I am is somebody who- because I was getting sick from everyday products- took my head out of the sand and figured out what was happening. And now that I know, it would be nothing short of wrong to not tell you too. …Even though I keep kind of wondering if some major company is going to come by and pop my tires! LOL! (Which, granted, would seem far-fetched if this little fish in a big pond hadn’t already received a 6-page letter from a huge company trying to dish me an [ineffective] rebuttal).

Ok. Well. I have already written a ton today and I know most of us don’t enjoy reading huge blogs and just skim for the “good stuff”. πŸ™‚ I will share in my next post and also inΒ  my class this Saturday the most affordable and doable ways to make better choices in the land of things so tasty, they kill. So next time you eat something and think, “This is to die for”, ask yourself… is it really?

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN……. (but seriously)

 

From a Counselor’s Desk: The Secret to Motivating Yourself

This is how my husband won my heart. He traveled from Virginia (where we met) to Massachusetts where I was running a camp for the summer to see me – a 15+ hour drive. This was in 2008 when the economy was doing a plummet. He paid huge prices at the gas pump, tolls, housing, etc. And since the camp was in the middle of nowhere, he ended up staying at a campground- yes, camping so he could stay near where I was because there were no hotels!!! He had creative dates planned and though it was July and 100 degrees, that goof (<3)Β  wore the sweatshirt with the camp logo on it that I bought him all the way home But he got what he wanted – me! We were married 6 weeks later and will soon be celebrating year 10 of marriage.
Moral of the story? If you want it, you will do what it takes.

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I am practically positive that if I asked my husband right now what gave him the motivation to drive all the way to see me, when I left Virginia as his friend, he would tell me that he wanted that kiss LOL. But how was that motivation strong enough? As a counselor who loves CBT and Motivational Therapy, I am going to offer a few quick ways to motivate yourself to pursue your dreams.

  1. Believe you can. It ALL starts in the mind, my friend. It is said that motivation is like a shower, you need to do it daily. It is also an “inside job”- no one can do it for you.
  2. Envision it. This does not have to be some weird type of yoga-meets-meditation kind of thing lol. It can literally be you, on the elliptical or folding laundry, picturing in detail what it would be like to have the thing you desire. Use your imagination! Engage all 5 senses when you’re in there! How would it feel when you have it? What would you be wearing the day you receive this thing? Who would be with you when it happened? How do you see it coming together? Where are you when it happens? What does it look like there? What are you smelling? What are your emotions when this happens? What would you say to people? What would they say to you? How would your significant other, children, friends, family, pets, career, home life, etc. be affected by this change? What would your closest friends say about this change? How would life be different from here on out? …you get the picture… spread out this dream on the canvas of your mind. Paint it, photograph it, write it, sing it- whatever works for you!
  3. Vision Boards. In today’s day and age, this could simply be a Pinterest board that puts pictures to your dreams. For example, I could make a Pinterest board called, “Jo’s Trip to Hawaii” and then post in there pictures of the ocean, waterfalls, the landscapes, hula dancing, hiking trails, people sitting on the beach drinking a cold lemonade, etc. Then whenever you need some extra inspiration to keep earning the money to get there, open up that board and envision yourself on the beaches of Hawaii!
  4. DECIDE. Yup. It’s that simple. Make the decision that you are going to go after it. No matter what. Then, don’t provide yourself any other options. When there is a tough day, don’t start thinking about and romanticizing the idea of quitting. NO. You made that decision for a reason, so those types of thoughts are NOT ALLOWED. Change the channel of your mind and get to envisioning your dream and opening up that Pinterest board!
  5. Write. Yes. Write your dream down. Then write your goals. When you are finished with that, write the steps you plan to take in order to reach this goal. Because a dream without action is just a wish. And we are not wishing- we are pursuing.
  6. Try, try again. It is very rare to succeed the first time you try something. In fact, it is so unheard of that people listen to these Unicorn Life Stories in awe. So maybe we’re not a unicorn. So what? Why not be like Thomas Edison who has over 1,000 patents that belong to him and had at least that many attempts to create the light bulb? This was no easy feat. He didn’t wake up one morning, walk out the door to the lab and go home that evening with his light bulb. Some things things don’t come easy. And because of that we can more fully appreciate them- because we know all our hard work and sacrifice involved! Our founding fathers of America had to leave their family for YEARS AT A TIME, missing out on seeing their children grow and snuggling their wives at night for their dream of freedom. Imagine if they stopped. Imagine if they were like, ah man, I thought when I got here I would be a unicorn but since I’m not… I’m staying home.
  7. JUST DO IT. πŸ™‚ (I probably have to write that this is a Nike slogan, since I’m sure they patented those 3 words. πŸ™‚ ) If you would like a free pdf showing you an easy and effective way to use aromatherapy for goal setting and motivation, simply send quick text to (540) 765-7881 that says “goals pdf” ❀ Bobbie-jo

Is Summer Threatening Your Sanity? 5 Tips for a Serene Summer- Without Stressing Your Wallet!

We are officially into week 3 of summer vacation at the Hurt Household and my LEAST FAVORITE thing to hear my very blessed children say is, “I’m bored.” Did you know that if you make over $20,000 a year, you are in the top 10 income earners IN THE WORLD? And if you make over $30,000 a year, YOU ARE A TOP 5% INCOME EARNER IN THE WORLD?! So when it comes to things to do, hearing “I’m bored” gives this mommy one of those famous head spin, eye popping, mom moments. Because the fact is, there is PLENTY to do but sometimes our creativity falls in a rut. Let’s see if I can help you out πŸ™‚Β  I have compiled my top 5 favorite idea to keep the kiddos busy and having fun, while YOU are still able to get stuff done!

  1. Let your kids help with the chores. I mean hey, they actually think we’re having fun doing them, so why not use this as a way to teach them good work ethics and responsibility? The chores they participate in with you is going to be something decided based on your individual child’s ability. For instance, my 4 year old likes to water the plants and feed the pets. And he likes to get the water himself. (Yes, typically that means I am mopping water off the floor πŸ™‚ But when I weigh out what this is teaching him vs. my extra work, I view it as invaluable. My 4 year old likes to fold blankets (I think because there aren’t as many of those πŸ™‚ ) and my 6 year old likes to fold all the washcloths and towels while I fold the other laundry. Sometimes we put on music (since they still think my music choices are cool)Β  and I also give the kids my ears to let them chatter away while we fold πŸ™‚Β  (And if you’re wondering if those folded towels and blankets look good? Nope! But that’s why we have linen closets- put them in and shut the door!) πŸ™‚
  2. Create incentives. Perhaps when they finish helping you fold the laundry then you all get to go swimming or run through the hose- whatever they love to do with you!
  3. Go to the library. (What is this lady talking about? It’s not 1992 anymore.) Yup, I totally get that. However, this resource is actually a GEM. Libraries aren’t just books anymore like when I was a kid (and it was still my favorite place to go!). Now they have places for kids to play with new and different toys, computer learning games that are somehow exotic to your child since it is different from what they have at home, new movies that they can rent AND books. It’s a kid paradise! Some of them even have playgrounds outside and coffee/snack shops inside. Man, we mommies are living the life! πŸ™‚
  4. Take something ordinary and make it fun.Β How?? Ok, so I know if you are following my blog, you are either already super creative or you would like to add more creativity into your life. How do I know this? Because I’m the DIY Diva- we make stuff- really cool and creative stuff. And I also know that you are smart. How do I know that? Because you took a minute to actually look into what today’s foods and products are doing to our bodies, our DNA (future generations), our families and our environment. So yeah, you are smart and creative. Pat yourself onΒ  the back πŸ™‚ As an example of taking something ordinary and making it fun, one of the things my boys love is when we go for a walk and we look for “fossils” and other cool finds (animal tracks, weird bugs, broken trees, different leaves, cool flowers, etc.). Tailor it to what your kids like! When I was a kid, I would watch the TV show Wishbone (anyone else???) and my sister and I would go outside with a notebook and a pen, pretending to solve mysteries- like the case of the missing cat (and we didn’t have a cat LOL). When you engage your imagination with the kids, anything is fun. The other day in the pool, the kids were having one of their “mama duck” days where they trail me around. So I made up a game. I was “Queen Stinky” and if they came over to my side they would become stinky! LOL! So my oldest went to the other side and was “Prince Smell Good” and I wasn’t allowed to bring my stinky self over there. My youngest decided to join the stinkies and was “Stinky Jr.” Ahhh serenity… I got to sit on float and relax a bit while my youngest was trying to sneak into the Clean Castle and every once in awhile I would pretend to try and sneak in too. The kids had a blast. I wore a smaller round Nemo float as my “crown” and grabbed a fun noodle as my “scepter” πŸ™‚
  5. I know you have heard this before but our kids don’t want our presents as much as they want our PRESENCE. So how do we do that when us moms are all so busy? Whether we work solely from the home or from home and office, moms are swamped. So here’s how we do it: We create precious space. For instance, my kids knew that mommy was going to be in that pool, playing with them, but after the few hours in the pool, mommy was going to read a chapter of her book in the living room while they played a game on their own. I established this beforehand so it wasn’t a surprise when we came inside and they were totally good with it because they just had mommy all to themselves for the past 2 hours. Sometimes I will tell them that mommy has to do work until ______ time. But after that, we will ______. And then I write the time down so they can check it whenever they forget. πŸ™‚ Of course they can come to me at any point because I work where they play, but they know to let mommy do her thing because after that they are going to do something super cool and awesome with mommy πŸ™‚ PS. This won’t work with ages 0-3. At those ages, we are pretty much their person and they need us 24/7. To create a breather during those ages, get a coffee (through the drive through!) on your way home and go the long way when they are napping or relaxing in the car πŸ™‚ And when they fall asleep on your lap when lounging on the recliner, try to leave something you enjoy nearby that you can do with one hand (I found the Kindle to be invaluable at the point, as turning pages was near impossible! Of course, it IS inevitable that the moment your child falls asleep, you will have to pee. Every time. πŸ™‚ ) Also, forget about the laundry at those ages. Wash. Dry. Divide it up in baskets by person, unfolded, and call it a day. πŸ˜‰Β  Even a mommy can only do so much and as the country song says, “You gotta know when to hold ’em [and] know when to fold ’em.” πŸ™‚

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